newbie mom

code V

March 4, 2015

I stopped and started this post about our trip to Children’s hospital a dozen times. I was honestly beyond nervous to write anything about what was happening since so much was unknown. We just didn’t have a clear picture of how everything would turn out. At worst it was terrifying and at best an underlying ever-present nagging thought. Luckily we’ve had a lot go our way thus far so we’re proceeding with tempered optimism. Some additional thoughts/observations regarding our stay…

Wasted worry.

“Worry is interest paid on trouble before it comes due. -William Ralph Inge

One of the most difficult parts about this whole ordeal was waiting from our initial blood work result to the retest. We actively tried not to get too caught-up in the thought of what could happen and instead work through what was happening. Focusing on what little was in our control. Sometimes and some days that was easier said than done.

“Whatever is going to happen will happen, whether we worry or not.” -Ana Monnar

Cry like a baby. 

Even though all the signs pointed to the news we received from the doctor that V’s platelet count had dropped to a dangerous level and that we needed to act now, it didn’t make it any easier to hear. Actually, that’s not entirely true, it was easier for me to hear than relay. As soon as I had to discuss what was happening I choked-up, it became real. It seemed unbelievable. I was shaken. So I cried. Sometimes you need a good cry – and that’s just what I did on the drive home from work. Just enough time to let it out and compose myself to get home and put a plan in action.

Our healthy looking sick baby.

Everyone kept saying  how healthy V looked. “He doesn’t even look sick!” I’m sure in some respects they were just trying to make us feel better about being in the hospital for the night but the truth was besides the rash and increased number of bruises he was the picture of health! The kid didn’t even have a runny nose! (And if you have or have had a kid in daycare you know that runny noses are standard winter fare). It made the experience all the more surreal.

Why did daycare cut him?

The first person we talked to once admitted to Children’s Hospital was a medical student. We relayed V’s recent history leading up to our visit. Noticed a rash, blood work indicated low platelets, second blood draw finger prick needed several bandage changes at daycare and didn’t stop bleeding until after noon, baby also came home with a huge bruise on his back that same day. I’m not sure what got lost in translation but he thought we told him that daycare ‘cut Danny’. He kept asking us and circling back to how Danny got ‘cut at daycare’. We kept trying to explain that they didn’t cut him they tended to his cut from the blood draw. He seemed very concerned that we weren’t more concerned!

Two is a crowd.

Before our nurse saved our marriage by finding us a recline-able chair – my husband and I attempted for a hot minute to share the twin hospital bed in V’s room. I was game for it, ready to cuddle-up and recreate our college twin bed sharing days. Him? Not so much.

Always a surprise. 

With this and with the birth of V, we were amazed at how little we actually saw the doctor. By happenstance we ran into him on the elevator after breakfast, he recognized us which was a great sign, but then we didn’t see him again until discharge. Never ceases to amaze me.

Thankful. 

Though we couldn’t know it going in, we were so lucky we had such a short stay at the hospital. There are other children and families that are dealing with a much different reality. We were reminded at every turn and that was not something lost on us.

Accepting the unknown. 

The doctors aren’t entirely sure what caused this to happen. It’s common not to have a specific thing to point to. Additionally, we’re not sure if V will need another treatment or if it’s a one and done scenario. For the majority of children they see with ITP, one treatment does the trick. A blip on the radar and nothing more to worry about. For others it takes longer but again can completely resolve. Hopefully we fall int the former category and our follow-up tests all show strong levels. For now things are looking good, his rash is gone and bruises healed. Other than a few middle of the night wake-ups V’s been doing great. We’re hopeful the trend continues!

 

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